Chapter Seven

CHAPTER SEVEN

Soundtrack: Illusion, Zedd (feat. Echosmith) 

Katie

My mystery biker, whom I’d officially started considering mine by Monday morning, had been on my mind all weekend. The only thing on my mind. Eli. Who was he? I definitely didn’t know anyone named Eli, but I was bound and determined to find him. So determined, in fact, that I left for school a good twenty minutes early so I could start my search first thing.

Student parking was practically empty when I pulled into the lot, so I took the closest spot to the quad I could find. With any luck, maybe Eli would be hanging out there. That’s where all the rockers, and most of the chopper guys, hung out together. And judging from the way he’d been dressed at my party, they were probably his crowd. Would I even recognize him when I saw him? I had no idea what he looked like.

The quad was already bustling with activity. I passed the skaters first, trading tips and tricks while lounging on the low wall bordering the courtyard area. A couple of the boys looked my way as I passed, and one girl lightly smacked one of the boys across the shoulder in a semi-playful way. He immediately dropped his gaze and mouthed, “Sorry,” to the girl who was presumably his girlfriend. Definitely not my Eli. He wouldn’t have been so friendly with me if he already had a girlfriend, for sure. I scanned the rest of the group on my way by, but quickly dismissed them. There was a lot of black in their attire, but no leather, and no one with the innate appeal I had sensed from Eli.

It was the same with every group of loitering students. No one gave off what I was quickly coming to think of as Eli vibes. Finally, I reached the rockers and bike guys at the far end of the quad. The scent of cigarette smoke and something thicker, earthier surrounded them, but no one was visibly smoking. As soon as I entered their immediate circle, all conversation stopped. And all eyes were on me.

I suddenly felt out of place in my Schouler floral dress, and my Wang heeled sandals. I’d spent hundreds on the shoes alone, and at least an hour picking out my ensemble this morning, but I suddenly felt terribly underdressed for the party in front of me. What I wouldn’t have given to be able to slip into Eli’s worn leather jacket and maybe lend myself some credibility with the kids currently eyeballing me like I was a lost tourist.

The urge to turn tail and flee was strong, but I’d come this far. Might as well jump in with both feet. “Hey, do you guys know Eli?” I address no one in particular.

A series of blank looks spread around the group. Some kids shrugged; one shook his head. Finally, a large boy with the beginnings of an adorable mustache asked, “What grade’s he in?”

Good question. “I uhm… not sure.”

“Sorry,” Stache said and returned his attention to the petite girl with dyed black hair sitting next to him on the grass. With that, everyone else in the group went back to whatever they were doing before I walked up. I’d been dismissed.

Well that could have gone worse. For now, I would have to let it go, go back to square one, and think of a new plan to find Eli. But I was determined to find him.

***

Getting to school early was becoming my new routine—if two mornings in a row could be considered routine.  Just like yesterday, I made a circuit around the quad looking for Eli before giving up and heading for chemistry. The room was empty when I got there, and I took a minute to enjoy the novelty of being the first student in the classroom. It was the first time in four years of high school. Knowing me, it would probably be the last as well.

Not long after I took my seat, other students started trickling in. Roman arrived a full five minutes before class was due to start, and he acted like it was his standard arrival time. What must that be like--to be studious and conscientious and actually early to class every day? I couldn’t wrap my brain around it, but I knew just looking at Roman that I was sorely unprepared for whatever would follow senior year. He was probably all set, probably had his ideal colleges all picked out and all of his applications filled out and ready to go. Heck, he probably even had his college schedule all picked out for next fall. I could barely think about college without feeling like I was going to break out in nervous hives from the pressure. Nope, better to think about it later, much later, when I actually had to.

“You’re here early,” Roman greeted as he sat down in the chair next to mine.

“Yeah, I was uh…looking for someone.” Did I want to tell him about Eli? It wasn’t like Roman would be able to help me find the guy. I highly doubted they ran in the same circles; where Roman was all clean cut lines and freshly pressed clothes, Eli had been all casual hotness and dangerous allure. They probably didn’t even have common friends of friends.

Roman raised an eyebrow in question, but didn’t ask whatever it was he was wondering. But something in his soft honey-brown eyes held me captive, almost daring me to spill my guts to him.

The warning bell rang, breaking whatever spell Roman had cast over me in that moment, and I looked around the room, now almost full of students. The teacher was still out in the hallway, though, guarding the door like a sentry ushering in the last of the prisoners before the prison gates closed. I looked past Mr. Carson, out into the hallway, and my eyes landed on black leather. A boy I didn’t know was walking past the open classroom door, and he was wearing the same kind of jacket Eli had been wearing at my party. I leaned forward in my seat, trying to get a better look at him, but he was out of sight before I could take in anything other than that jacket, dark jeans, and heavy black motorcycle books. Just like the one Eli had left on my front steps.

At that realization, I was out of my seat like a shot and heading straight for the hall.

“Where do you think you’re going, Ms. Lennox?” Mr. Carson’s voice stopped me in my tracks just over the threshold.

I needed to think of something quick, before I lost any chance of catching up with maybe-Eli. “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not feeling well at all. I think I need to use the bathroom.”

He eyed me suspiciously, but didn’t call me on my excuse. I took his silence as acquiescence and made a beeline in the direction the boy had headed a moment ago. And there he was, turning the corner toward the math wing. A few seconds later, I skidded around the corner just in time to see him disappearing into a classroom two doors down.

And then the late bell rang.

“Late again, Katie?” Mrs. Harper, my guidance counselor, and the one administrator who always caught me late to class was standing barely a few feet away, arms crossed over her chest, eyeballing me like a disobedient child.

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Harper. I was actually in class already, but I needed to go get something. I thought I had enough time before the bell rang.” I tried to look apologetic and sincere. After all, it was the truth. “Could you maybe just write me a pass back to class?

“Sorry, Katie. You know the rules. I can’t let you slide anymore. You’re going to have to go to ISS.”

Crap. Not only did I miss maybe-Eli, but now I was going to have to spend all of first period sitting in In School Suspension and miss Chemistry. And all my stuff was still in the classroom. Clearly this was not my day.

 

#

Chapter Six

CHAPTER SIX

Soundtrack: Chains, Nick Jonas 

Roman

Katie was alone on the terrace when I stepped through the doors. My stomach twisted in a fit of nerves the second I saw her, and I ducked into the shadows behind the french doors. Now, not only was I awkward and shy, but creepy, too. I couldn’t bring myself to step out into the light, though. What if she turned around and saw me? What if she recognized me behind the old motorcycle gear and two-sizes-too-big-for-me leather boots I’d pilfered from my father’s closet? I removed the helmet and checked the mask over my face, testing its security and position under my sunglasses, then relaxed once I’d reassured myself my face was still mostly hidden.

 

The music spilled out through the open doors, a soft, slow number that existed in perfect harmony with the beauty and peace of the dark terrace. The setting was like a world all our own. I let my gaze rove over her in a way I wouldn’t have had she known I was there—committing her every feature, every curve to memory. I fought the urge to remove my sunglasses to get a better look at her. I needed that extra layer of protection, even if for my own comfort. She was like a princess with the moonlight shining down on her, giving her blonde waves a silvery tone and lighting her skin as if the moon was a spotlight designed just for her. Even though she was facing away from me, looking down at the pool area, I could almost picture her soft, full lips with their pink pout, her gray-blue eyes with their exotic tear-drop shape, her button nose, and high cheekbones. She was perfection. And I was unworthy.

 

I shouldn’t have come; I didn’t belong here. Doubts crowded in on me, and I shuffled back toward the entrance to the ballroom. Maybe I could escape quickly, and she would never know I’d been here. My too-large boot scuffed the ground, and I froze, hoping she hadn’t heard.

 

She whirled with a startled smile, probably ready to greet whoever she found there. Her smile faltered when she saw me, but was back in full force when she spotted the helmet in my hand. “Hi!” She called and lifted her hand in a small wave.

 

“Hi,” I repeated. I hadn’t intended to use a lower register, but my voice sounded deeper, more gravelly. Maybe it was from a subconscious effort to disguise any defining detail about myself. I didn’t belong here. I wasn’t one of the cool kids. Sure, she’d invited me, but Brad had driven the point home that I just didn’t fit in with Katie’s crowd. She was so far out of my league, we weren’t even playing the same sport.

 

Katie tilted her head to the side, giving my person a slow perusal from head to toe and back again. I needed to say something, anything, to distract her from what was clearly an attempt to identify me.

 

“Like what you see?” I bit my tongue the second the words were out of my mouth. What was wrong with me? I didn’t talk like that.

 

Katie smiled that slightly crooked grin of hers. “And what if I do?”

 

Her words sent a little thrill through me, chasing away the worst of my nerves. Maybe I could pull this off. I was pretty well disguised, after all. Maybe, just for tonight, I could pretend I really was this devil-may-care biker. I could talk to Katie—flirt with Katie—like I couldn’t do when I was just me. I set my helmet down, checked the position of my mask over my face again, and pushed my sunglasses a little higher on my nose. Then I took a step toward her. “Well, then I would say the feeling is mutual.”

 

Her smile softened into an almost self-conscious smirk, and she lifted a hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She smoothed the other hand down the fabric of her dress. “Who are—”

 

“Want to dance?” I cut her question off before she could ask it, avoiding the awkward place it would have left us when I tried not to answer. I held out my hand like I expected her to say yes.

 

She didn’t disappoint, crossing the terrace in graceful steps and placing a small hand in mine. I pulled her into my arms in a move I’d only ever seen in movies—and never imagined I’d actually use myself. She seemed to melt against me, molding her body to mine, and laying her cheek to my chest.

 

Then she took a deep breath and released it on a soft sigh. “You smell really good,” She whispered the words against my jacket. It was all the invitation I needed. I tightened my arms around her and began a gentle sway to the beat of the music. Katie followed my lead, moving with me as if we were one person, fluid, coordinated, perfectly in time with one another.

 

When the song ended and another began, I didn’t skip a beat, just shifted into a new sway, a new set of slow moves with her in my arms. I would dance like this all night if Katie let me, but I wanted more. I wanted to live this fantasy to the fullest.

I wanted to kiss her.

 

I was a man on a mission, expertly guiding our dance steps toward the shadows until I had Katie safe within the darkness behind the patio doors. I slowed my dance moves and softly pressed Katie against the brick wall behind her. I couldn’t see her face through my sunglasses, and I took a chance that it would be dark enough to hide my features if I lifted them out of the way, setting them on top of my head. With the glasses out of the way, I still couldn’t make out the details of her face. Hopefully, that meant that she couldn’t make out mine either.

 

Emboldened by that idea, I slipped my half-mask down under my chin. The air was cool on my face, sending little prickles of awareness across my lips as I imagined pressing them against Katie’s. Finally, I worked up the nerve to make my move.

 

I dipped my head and laid the softest of kisses across her mouth. I wanted more, wanted to show her in my kiss exactly how I felt about her, but I didn’t have the guts for that. So, I moved slow, came in for a second soft kiss, and slipped my tongue out to tease over her lips. She parted them on a gasp, and I took that as my cue to deepen the kiss.

 

Kissing Katie was like coming home, it was comfort and sweetness and exhilaration all at once. I swirled my tongue over hers, and she reciprocated, giving as much as she was taking. When I finally pulled back, she nipped playfully at my bottom lip.

 

“You’re a good… dancer.” She broke the silence, but her soft voice didn’t break the mood.

I chuckled at her compliment. “Back at ya.”

 

Eventually, the beat picked up, and unable to justify holding her close anymore, I let my arms fall away from her. I was quick to move my mask back into place and pull my sunglasses down over my eyes before I took a step back.

 

Katie’s expression was almost regretful as she removed her hands from behind my neck and I widened the space between us. “Do I know you?” she asked, eyeing my person with more than just passing scrutiny.

 

The idea that she could figure out who I was set off a firestorm of nervous energy in my veins, and I shoved my hands deep into my pockets to keep from fidgeting. “No,” I told her, and I wasn’t entirely lying. She didn’t really know anything about me.

 

“What’s your name?” She stepped forward, and I instinctively took a step backward.

 

“Eli.” I gave her my middle name, also not a lie.

 

“Eli…” she repeated, watching me consideringly. “Are you sure we haven’t met? You seem so familiar.”

 

I had to get out of there before she figured me out. “I, uh, gotta hit the road, but thanks for the dance, princess.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I spun on my heels and all but ran for the terrace doors, snatching my helmet up and shoving it onto my head as I fled. I zig-zagged through the crowd inside the ersatz ballroom, and was out the front door and racing down the marathon of steps in no time flat.

 

“Wait, Eli!” Katie’s voice sounded from somewhere behind me, somewhere too close for comfort. I was only about halfway to the bottom, and I lost my concentration—and my footing. My foot slid out of my boot, and I stumbled down a handful of steps before catching myself.

 

I froze, unsure if I should go back for my boot or just keep going. The click-clacking of Katie’s heels on the stone steps as she descended after me made up my mind for me. I righted myself and took off again, limping my way down the stairs two at a time. Dad’s motorcycle seemed a hundred miles away, but I finally made it. I swung a leg over and kicked it upright in one smooth move. The engine turned over easily, and revved dramatically when I took off. I tried hard not to look at Katie on my way by, but my gaze drifted to her without my consent. She stood at the bottom of the steps, her expression both sad and confused, and for a moment, I considered staying, telling her the truth, risking my heart for the possibility that she might feel the same way about me as I felt about her.

 

But at the last second, I caught site of Brad coming down the steps behind her, and his arrival on the scene knocked me back into my place. Katie and I were from two different worlds, and I’d made a huge mistake forgetting that.

Chapter Seven

Chapter Five

CHAPTER FIVE

Soundtrack: Starry Eyed, Ellie Goulding 

Katie

My bedroom door creaked open, but I ignored it and brushed my mascara wand across my eyelashes one more time before tucking it back in the tube.

“Oh-em-gee, Katie, you look amazing! Like a real faerie princess,” Maya came to my side at the vanity mirror and gingerly fingered the gauzy shimmer lace layered over my silk bodice. Her aquamarine mermaid costume, complete with matching demi-mask, was equally as shimmery and far more revealing than my own silver and lace, floor-length gown. The sea-inspired blue color was a perfect complement to her olive skin tone and waist-length, auburn curls. Her look was exotic where mine was fair, and our personalities were just as polar as our looks.

Maya had been my closest friend since we were babies, and I was thrilled to have her at my party, and helping me to get ready for it, too. But, even after all these years, it still drove me a little nuts when she started a conversation with oh-em-gee.

“Thanks. You look great, too.” I stood up from the vanity and made for my walk-in closet to grab my shoes. The clear heels coated with a light dusting of silver glitter had been a last minute, but much needed addition to my costume. I claimed them from the top shelf of my shoe rack and carefully slipped my feet into them. “Ready?” I asked Maya as I emerged from my closet.

“Ready,” she agreed and linked her arm in mine. On my way to the door, I reached out with my free hand and grabbed my mask from the vanity. The shimmery, silver number was barely big enough to cover my eyes and would do nothing to hide my identity. It was purely for show. I couldn’t attend my own masquerade party without a mask. With Maya’s arm still looped through mine, I managed to tie the ribbons together behind my head, securing the mask in place over my eyes without even messing up my hair.

By the time we made it to the landing at the top of the stairs, my arm was starting to sweat where Maya’s touched it, and I was trying to think of a polite way to extricate myself from her hold. “This is going to be so much fun,” I told her, pulling my arm out of hers and clapping my hands together. Then I set both hands on the banister and leaned over to survey the foyer below.

At the bottom of the stairs, partygoers were already milling about, moving from one downstairs room to another, exploring. Still more guests were arriving—some servant, or caterer, or whatever, I didn’t recognize was opening the door every few seconds it seemed like, to allow another group to enter.

“Hey hey, beautiful!” Brad’s voice sounded from somewhere behind me.

I closed my eyes and counted to three, hoping that when I opened them and turned around, Brad wouldn’t be there. Maybe if I wished hard enough, he wouldn’t even be here at the party. Inviting him had been a mistake. I knew that when I did it, but even if I hadn’t invited him, he would have come anyway. Brad was like that, too cocky to realize when he wasn’t wanted. And he definitely wasn’t wanted. If I could have been rid of him completely when we broke up however many months ago, I would have been perfectly happy. But I just couldn’t seem to shake him.

Sure enough, when I turned around, there he stood, dressed as a vampire, complete with fake blood at the corners of his mouth. “Brad. You do know it’s a masquerade right?”

“Chyeah, totally. That’s why I’m wearing this costume.” He posed proudly, voguing the way he must think a vampire would with hands on hips, feet askance, and fangs showing.

What did I ever see in him?

“Ooh, who is that?” Maya’s question drew my attention away from my mistake of an ex-boyfriend and toward the front door. The guy standing in my foyer hadn’t drawn only Maya’s attention, but also the attention of several of the other kids loitering in the entryway. And with good reason. He was dressed head to toe in black, from his scuffed motorcycle boots to his black denim pants to his black T-shirt under a black leather jacket. And he’d topped it all with a black motorcycle helmet, aviator sunglasses, and a black half-mask over his mouth. He was impossibly tall and lanky, but his lean build didn’t make him any less imposing. His look, his whole countenance was both alluring and dangerous at the same time.

“So, babe, when’s the music going to start? I’m saving my best dance moves for you.”

Ugh. Brad.

“Yeah, yeah. Later.” I waved him off like a pesky mosquito and made for the stairs, making sure to place each step carefully, with purpose. A few minutes ago, my heels had seemed so perfect; now they seemed ridiculous because they were keeping me from getting downstairs to figure out who this mysterious bad boy was.

I kept my eyes glued to him as I descended, and my heart sank when he started toward the great-room-turned-temporary-ballroom. A quick scan of the room ahead of him proved that it was already overcrowded. If he made it in there before I could get to him, it would take me quite some time to find him again. I picked up the pace, practically racing down the final few steps. On the last one, my right heel caught in the hem of my gown. I grabbed tight to the banister and lifted my foot to remove my heel from my dress.

By the time I’d extricated my foot from the lace, my mystery guest had disappeared into the crowd beyond the foyer.

“Hey, Katie! Great party,” Amanda Simpkins sidled up to me and wrapped me in a hug. Her too-large nest of teased red curls tickled my nose in an unpleasant way, smothering me with the scent of too much hair product. “Happy birthday, Bestie!”

Bestie? We were barely friends. She must have been trying to impress whoever she was with. I didn’t bother trying to figure out who she was trying to dazzle. Instead, I pulled out of her hug, patted her on the shoulder and took off for the ballroom, dodging other partiers on my way there.

The room was even more crowded than I’d thought; I realized that as soon as I stepped through the arched entry. I skirted friends and acquaintances, stretching to see over their heads. Anything to possibly catch a glimpse of my mysterious biker. When did I start thinking of him as my biker?

It didn’t matter. I’d lost him.

I gave up my search and wove my way through the mob of dancing teenagers toward the edge of the room. They were suffocatingly close, and I needed space right then. The party had only just started, and already I needed fresh air. When I turned back to face the room, I spotted Brad and Maya both standing at the doorway to the foyer scanning the room for me.

I ducked out onto the terrace before they spied me.

#

Chapter Six

Chapter Four

CHAPTER FOUR

Soundtrack: Moondust, Jaymes Young 

Roman
Monday morning arrived on the heels of a rainy, dreary weekend. The world was overcast and gray, with a rain-slicked sheen covering every surface, but somehow it all seemed bright and cheerful. I’d floated through the weekend lighter than air, and all because of a kiss I’m not even sure would have taken place had the pizza guy not interrupted. But Katie had certainly seemed interested.

I thought about finding Katie and trying to talk to her about it when I got to school. All weekend, I’d fought the urge to call her -- I didn’t want to seem too eager, too interested. But when I entered the English wing, the warning bell rang, and I was forced to give up any hope of seeing her before first period.

By the time lunch rolled around, I still hadn’t seen Katie. We must not have had any classes near each other. We probably didn’t even have the same lunch period. I resigned myself to the fact that I probably wasn’t going to see her today and headed for the cafeteria. Navigating the throngs of students loitering by lockers and congregating mid-hallway took longer than I expected and by the time I made it out of C-wing, I was ready for fresh air.

“Roman!”

I would recognize that voice anywhere. Katie was calling to me from somewhere near the quad. I scanned the concrete picnic tables for her and finally caught sight of her. She was alone at a table at the far end, half-standing and waving one arm in a huge arc over her head. When our gazes connected, she waved me over to her, and I changed course immediately.

“Hey, what’s up?” I tried to play it cool once I got over to her.

She sat back down and tucked a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “How was your weekend?” She sounded almost nervous. Was it possible that she might be just as on edge around me as I was around her?

“It was good. I didn’t do a whole lot.” I mentally kicked myself. Great, way to make myself sound unpopular by admitting I’d done nothing.

Katie smiled. “Hey, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but my birthday is Sunday.”

Why was she telling me this? “Happy early birthday.”

“Thanks,” she shrugged, “but, I wanted to let you know… I’m uh… having a party. You probably think it’s dumb, I know. But my parents are really into birthdays. It’s gonna be a masquerade… er… a costume party.”

Understanding dawned. She was telling me she couldn’t study this weekend. “Oh, okay. I gotcha. We can study another day. That’s cool.”

Her eyes widened, and she sputtered for a moment. “No!” Her tone was louder than before, but she was quick to quiet again. “No, what I meant was… well… do you want to come?”

She was inviting me to her party? I opened my mouth to answer, but before I could, something hard and cold smacked me in the back of the head.

“What’s up, dweeb?” Great. Brad was here. He walked around to straddle the bench Katie was on, and two more meatheads from the wrestling team claimed the bench on the opposite side of the table.

I rubbed the back of my head as Brad tossed a water bottle from hand to hand. At least he hadn’t hit me with anything that would make a mess.

“You guys friends?” Katie shifted uncomfortably.

I waited for Brad to answer -- I wanted to hear his response.

“This loser? Nah, the only reason I know him is ‘cause he’s related to me. Unfortunately, he didn’t inherit the coolness gene, eh dweeb?” Brad’s wrestling buddies laughed.

I wished I had an answer to that, some smart quip that would put Brad in his place, but I had nothing. So, I said nothing.

Katie’s perfect lips parted in on a silent, “Oh.”

“I better get going,” I told Katie, choosing to ignore Brad and his friends.

“Yeah, don’t you have something nerdy to do?” The one closest to me heckled, and meathead number two guffawed and slapped his friend on the back.

“Guys, stop,” Katie warned, but her voice was soft and tinged with something I didn’t quite recognize, disgust maybe? She turned to me, looked like she wanted to say something, but I couldn’t bear to hear whatever it was she was about to say.

“Anyway, see ya around.” I turned on my heel and headed for the cafeteria.

****

The next few days dragged by. No matter how hard I tried to concentrate on other things, more important things like schoolwork, I just couldn’t shake the memory of that confrontation with Brad. It replayed in my mind over and over. I stayed home “sick” from school on Tuesday so I didn’t have to face Katie, and by Thursday, I’d built up Katie’s non-reaction in my mind to such huge proportions I considered skipping school. But that wasn’t my style. Besides, I couldn’t skip Chemistry for the rest of the semester. I needed the A to clench that scholarship to State.

So, I dragged myself out of bed that morning, and forced myself through my morning routine. If I were honest with myself, I would have admitted I might have checked my reflection a few extra times, spent a few extra minutes choosing my clothes, worried over my appearance a little longer than most mornings. But I told myself I was just being as conscientious as every other day.

Katie rolled into first period just seconds before the bell rang. Mr. Carlson raised an eyebrow in her direction, but didn’t comment. She slipped behind my chair, moving much more gracefully today than last week, and settled in her seat next to the wall. “Hey,” she whispered from behind the cover of hair hanging in front of her face as she bent to ruffle through her backpack on the floor.

I nodded back at her. Mr. Carlson took to the front of the room and cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention. “Good morning. I trust everyone has read chapter three, on scientific measurement, and is excited to show me what you’ve learned.”

A couple students groaned, and Katie frowned. I mentally patted myself on the back for reading ahead so I wasn’t too far behind the class even though I’d missed the lesson on Tuesday.

Mr. Carlson passed a stack of papers to the student closest to him. “Take a packet and pass them on. Get with your partners and answer the questions on the worksheet. When you get to the last page, you can pick a lab station at the back,” He pointed to the counter running the length of the back wall, and I turned to follow his gaze. He’d set up six stations with beakers and other tools. “And do the activity. I recommend some of you start with the activity, then work on the seatwork portion, so everyone’s not fighting for a station at once.” Then he returned to his desk and the computer there.

When the last two packets landed on the desk in front of me, Katie visibly paled. “Shoot.”

“You didn’t read chapter three?”

She shook her head. A few pairs of students meandered by us to the back of the room.

“It’s okay. Scientific measurement isn’t as hard as it sounds. I can walk you through it. Do you want to do the lab first or the worksheet?”

She looked at the lab stations with something like panic in her expression. “Uh, let’s do the worksheet first.” Then, she scooted her chair closer to mine and leaned in to read the worksheet.

It took everything I had to stay focused on the assignment with Katie so close. Every time I took a deep breath, my shoulder brushed hers, reminding me of sitting next to her in her parents’ media room, touching by not touching. My stomach was a pretzel, twisted up with nervous energy. With each new question on the paper, I had to focus on the individual words and digest the question with purpose, trying to ignore her proximity and the way her hair smelled of apples. We were probably getting every question wrong, but I couldn’t have answered them any better. I was just lucky to be able to form coherent sentences right then.

After Katie had to look up the fourth straight answer in the book because I couldn’t answer it, I dropped my pen onto the table and pushed my chair back from the table. I tilted my head back, looking up at the ceiling tiles, and let my arms fall to my sides on a heavy sigh. Rotating my shoulders to try to relieve some of the tension, I closed my eyes and silently willed myself to just disappear. What was wrong with me? I was acting like I’d never been near a girl in my entire life. How was Katie able to do this to me?

Katie’s chair scraped the floor and the sound of clothing rustling followed, but I didn’t open my eyes to see where she was going. I concentrated on my breathing, trying to tamp down the flood of nerves rising inside me, and calm my pulse back to a normal rhythm. It was almost working.

Until cold fingers pressed against my neck from behind. The touch of Katie’s hands on my skin startled me more than the chill of it, and I flinched the slightest bit.

“You’re so tense.” Her voice was like velvet against my ear, the softest, sweetest whisper as she gently massaged my shoulders. “Is everything okay?”

Her touch sent ripple after ripple of awareness down my spine, and gooseflesh broke out across my neck and arms. Hopefully, she wouldn’t notice the effect her touch had on me. I was torn between scrambling to escape and shifting closer to her. I settled for staying right where I was and hoping my voice didn’t betray my turmoil when I spoke. “I’m fine.”

Her hands continued to move across my shoulders and upper back, never hesitating, even as she said, “I don’t believe you.”

I shrugged.

“Is this about Brad and his friends?”

Angry heat crept up my neck and into my cheeks. “No.” It wasn’t a lie. I hadn’t even been thinking about Brad until she brought him up. But I couldn’t tell her the truth. I would be mortified if she found out that the reason I couldn’t concentrate, the reason I was sucking at life just then was because all I could think about was her, what it would feel like to kiss her, to touch her. And her hands on me weren’t helping me rein in my my wayward thoughts. I had to get out of here.

I was out of the chair and halfway to Mr. Carlson before I’d even consciously made the decision to ask him for a pass, but when I got to his desk, the words were easy to come by. “May I use the bathroom?”

Mr. Carlson looked up from the stack of papers he was grading and raised his eyebrows at me, but in the end, he took out his passes and filled the top one out, then tore it from the book with an audible rip. “Don’t be long.” Then he went back to grading.

I shot a glance at the clock above the whiteboard behind him. There were still twenty-five minutes left before class got out. And I had no intention of returning before the bell rang. I’d come back and get my stuff after I was sure Katie was gone.

Chapter Five

Chapter Three

 

Chapter Three

Soundtrack: Beating Heart, Ellie Goulding 
 

Katie

 

“So, that’s basically it,” Roman told me as he closed his book and uncrossed his legs. Thank goodness! We’d been studying for close to two hours, sitting cross-legged on the floor, knees touching, and we hadn’t spoken to one another any more than had been necessary. I couldn’t have concentrated on Chemistry if it was my favorite subject. It definitely wasn’t.

Now that our study time was almost over, I wasn’t ready to let him go yet. I wanted to spend more time with him, maybe get to know a little about my lab partner besides the fact that he obviously knew a crap-ton more about Chemistry than I could ever hope to learn. I checked the time on my phone: 6:52. We had at least three hours before my parents would be home. I always hated being alone in this big house at night, but it seemed like they were always away at some function or dinner.

“Hey, wanna get a pizza? I’m starved.” Was my voice a little too loud? The last thing I wanted was to come off as desperate for him to stay. Even if I kind of was.

“Uh,” he glanced at his watch, “sure.”

“I’ll order. What d’ya like?” I dialed the number even while I was asking the question. Was it weird that I knew the number by heart?

In minutes, I’d placed the order, and we’d fallen into an awkward silence. I wracked my brain trying to think of something to break the tension. Finally, “Hey, have you seen The Hollow Effect?” Did he even like horror movies?

“I haven’t yet, but I’ve been wanting to.”

Score.

“Yeah, me too! I’ve been thinking about renting it. Wanna watch it?” Hopefully, I sounded calmer than I felt. I was already picturing cuddling up to him in the dark, burying my face in his neck at the scary parts.

“Yeah, okay. That would be cool.” Talk about a lukewarm reaction. Suddenly, I was losing my nerve. Did he really want to be here? Maybe he just felt sorry for the weird girl who was so klutzy she’d fallen all over him in front of thirty other students.

I tried not to think too much about it as I led him to the media room. But, by the time I had the movie ready to stream through the projector and turned to face Roman, he’d bypassed the twelve single-seat leather recliners and opted for the only loveseat. Maybe he’d picked the seat because it was front and center, and admittedly the best seat in the room. He had his shoes kicked off, one arm folded behind his head, and when he noticed me watching him, he patted the seat next to him in invitation. Maybe he was interested. I flipped off the light, grabbed the remote, and joined him on the loveseat.

He was all heat next to me. His breaths were coming in nearly silent, shallow bursts. It was a short, nervous sort of panting, like prey caught in a trap. I ran a casual hand through my hair, then let it fall to rest on the black leather between us, barely an inch from his own hand.

I feigned an interest in the movie, even though I couldn’t have concentrated on anything but Roman and how close his hand was to my fingertips. When his breathing evened, I shifted just a fraction of a hairsbreadth so that my pinky rested over his thumb. He shivered under the touch, but kept his gaze locked on the screen.

Sliding over in my seat, I pressed my arm against his. When he didn’t pull away, I laid my head on his shoulder. A moment passed, then two. Finally, Roman turned his head and shifted in his seat just enough to look down at me without breaking the contact between us. I tilted my face to look up into his eyes and sucked in a nervous breath. His eyes closed to half mast, and I was almost certain he was about to kiss me.

Buzz. The intercom to the front gate buzzed. Someone was here. Whoever it was had the worst timing in the world. As I looked up at Roman, he licked his lips nervously. Maybe he was just as aware of me as I was of him, but was just better at pretending not. I considered ignoring whoever was out there. Until the buzzer sounded again.

I practically fell out of the loveseat on my way to the intercom and all but slammed my hand down on the button. “What?” Did I sound as frustrated as I felt?

“Pizza,” a young, male voice called through the speaker.

I rested my forehead on the wall next to the speaker and sighed. I’d forgotten all about the pizza. With a quick and apologetic look over my shoulder to Roman, I buzzed the pizza guy in and headed for the front door to meet him.

***

My best attempts to not stare awkwardly at Roman while I stuffed my face with pepperoni and cheese were failing miserably. Every time he licked his lips, I imagined having those pink lips pressed against mine. He seemed to be trying just as hard to not look at me -- only he was succeeding. There was something about Roman, something different from other guys. He wasn’t aggressive like they were, didn’t try to get to second base the minute we were alone. And he’d seemed almost relieved when the delivery guy interrupted our almost kiss.

We ate in silence, and the whole time, I was wracking my brain trying to think of something halfway-intelligent to say. I finally settled on humor. “So, that’s the hottest horror movie I’ve ever seen.” I gestured to the projector screen across the room, where the movie we weren’t really watching was paused.

Roman flushed an endearing shade of rose pink and nodded. Then he quickly shoved another bite of pizza into his mouth. I couldn’t tell if that meant he enjoyed what had almost happened or was busy trying to think of a way to get out of there.

Our silence was interrupted by a series of tinney, cartoon-like chirps sounding from the vicinity of Roman’s pants. I eyeballed the offending area in an attempt to figure out what the noise was, realizing just a moment too late that I was giving him the creepy-stare. Roman set his paper plate on the seat next to him and fished his cell out of his pocket.

“Hey, Pop?” he answered. I could hear a voice on the other end, but couldn’t make out the words. “Yeah, sure. I can be ready in a few minutes. I’ll text you the address.”

He was leaving.

Roman ended the call and sent a quick text before shoving his phone back into his jeans. Then he smiled at me apologetically. “That was my dad. He’s on his way home and said he could swing by and pick me up so I don’t have to take the bus home.”

“Oh, well, do you live far? I could drive you...” Did I sound too needy? Truth was, I wasn’t all that altruistic -- I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet.

Roman seemed to consider my offer for a moment. “No, that’s okay. He’s probably almost here now.” He stood and reached for his sneakers, slipping them on without untying them. When he’d gathered all of his stuff, I followed him to the front door.

I opened it for him, using it to hold myself up as he stepped over the threshold. “Thanks for coming over.” I prayed I didn’t sound as deflated as I felt.

Roman turned to look back at me, illuminated by the porch lights framing my front door, he looked almost angelic. “It was fun. Maybe we could uh… study again sometime.” Was he blushing when he said that?

“I’d like that.” Headlights cut through the wrought iron bars at the end of the drive, and I reached behind the door for the button to open the gate. “Well, I guess I’ll see you at school on Monday, maybe.” I mentally berated myself as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Our school was on the block schedule, which meant I wouldn’t have a class with Roman until Chemistry on Tuesday. Did I sound desperate hoping to see him on Monday?

He nodded and turned to jog down the steps toward his father’s car. I watched as they pulled away, and shut the gate as soon as they were out on the street. Then I shut the front door and leaned back against it. What was it about Roman that had me acting like a prepubescent girl with her first crush? He definitely wasn’t the type of guy I usually went for. So, why couldn’t I get him out of my head?

Chapter Four

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

 Soundtrack: Creep, Glee Cast Version

Roman

 Katie Lennox had no idea who I was. And why would she? We’d only been attending the same high school for the last three years. Now, I was supposed to study with her tonight and what? Pretend I didn’t know her either? All day, I’d rolled every scenario around in my head, imagining what I would say, what her reaction would be. And I always came back to the same thing: the path of least embarrassment seemed to be acting like I’d been just as oblivious to her existence as she’d been to mine. When the last bell of the day rang, I took my time packing my book and notebook into my backpack, waiting for the other students in my American Government class to head out into the hallway before I stood and slung the bag over my shoulder.

I dragged my feet on the way to my locker, killing time, letting the hallways empty before I left for home. My Chem book was already in my bag; I’d been holding onto it like a life-preserver since class yesterday. Every time I looked at it, I remembered Katie landing in my lap, the way her eyes had widened and her lips had parted in surprise, the scent of her shampoo—a light, melony scent. It was the closest I’d ever been to her, not that I hadn’t thought about it. I’d spent more time than I would ever admit out loud thinking about Katie, about being near her.

When I was satisfied that the hallways were deserted, I headed toward the gym. The boys’ locker room was silent and empty when I got there. There were no games tonight, so there was no reason for anyone to stay late—everyone was probably eager to start their weekend. For the first time since I could remember, I was too. My weekends were usually spent studying or mowing lawns. Tonight, I actually had plans—with the most beautiful girl in school. My stomach twisted with an unfamiliar nervous feeling. I couldn’t tell if it was anticipation or dread. Maybe both.

Tamping down whatever emotion it was that was making me feel a little nauseated, I crossed the locker room toward the gym entrance. I scanned the basketball court first, then the bleachers. Finally, over in the corner, emptying one of the garbage cans into his cart, I saw my father.

“Hey, Pop.”

Dad looked up at me with tired eyes, but his smile was wide as he set the trash can back on the ground. As I got closer, I noticed the deeper wrinkles around his brown eyes, the gray streaking through his dark hair and eyebrows. When was the last time I really looked at my father? It was like he was aging right before my eyes. Guilt settled in the pit of my stomach like a stone. I knew he didn’t like being a janitor. Who would? I wished again, for the millionth time at least, that he would let me get an afterschool job. But he wouldn’t. Every time I’d tried to talk to him about it, he’d shut me down, saying, “This is your time, son. Your mother would’ve wanted you to go to college, and we’re not going to let her down.” How could I argue with that?

“Well, this is a nice surprise. I would have thought you’d be halfway home by now.”

I shook my head. “Actually, I wanted to let you know, I’m not going straight home. I’ve got plans.”

His eyes widened in surprise, and he grinned. “Plans with a girl?”

“It’s not like that, Dad. She’s my Chemistry partner, and my grade depends on her. I need to pass this class.”

He nodded, but his expression clearly said he didn’t believe me.

A door crashed open at the other end of the gym, and heavy footsteps echoed in the large room. “Hey hey, what do we have here? The trash taking out the trash?”

Brad. I knew that voice well.

“This is how he treats his family?” my dad muttered under his breath but pasted on a fake smile as we turned to face my cousin.

“Brad,” I greeted, not bothering with the fake smile as he crossed the gym toward us. I didn’t like him just as much as he didn’t like me. No sense pretending.

“Don’t mind me. I just came back to grab my jersey. I was so busy scoring a date with Candy Dupree after fourth period, I forgot it.” It was a lame attempt at reminding me how popular he was. And how unpopular I was. “Later, loser.” He passed me, shoving a shoulder into mine on his way. I caught my balance before the blow could knock me over and glared at Brad’s back as he sauntered outside.

“I can’t believe she used to date that jerk,” I mumbled to myself after the door shut behind Brad.

“Who?” my dad asked, snapping me back from my thoughts of Katie and Brad together.

“No one. I’ll see you later, Pop.” I exited through the same door Brad had, preparing myself for the fact that he would probably have more insults, but he was already gone by the time I got outside.

****

Katie’s house was huge, a veritable fortress of stone and wrought iron. The stone wall surrounding her property was almost as tall as my house, and the gate stood even higher than the wall. I pulled out my phone and double-checked the address she’d texted to me. 3684 Amberly. I was definitely at the right house—or rather, mansion. I walked up to the call box next to the driveway, feeling a little conspicuous not being in a vehicle. I could still back out. I could catch the next bus home in—I checked the time—twenty-three minutes. Maybe I could just text her and tell her I hadn’t been feeling well or something. Anything was better than studying with her in a house bigger than my block, pretending I wasn’t a poor kid from the poor side of town. Her dad was probably a lawyer, or a doctor, or something expensive like that. Mine was a janitor. At our school.

Before I could turn tail and run back to the bus stop two blocks away, the iron gates opened and the call box buzzed. “Hey Roman!” Katie’s voice came through the speaker, cheerful and excited, like she was happy I was there. “Come on in. I’ll meet you at the front door.”

The box buzzed and clicked off. It was too late to run now.

I squared my shoulders, adjusted my backpack on my back, and started through the gate. At least the walk up her ridiculously long, brick-paved driveway would give me a chance to think of something clever to say when I got to her door.

I looked up at the house, at least three stories high, with a stone façade that matched the wall around the property. Almost a full flight of wide steps led to the dark wood French doors. As I started up the steps, one of the French doors opened and Katie stepped out. Her hair was tied back in a loose bun, and her feet were bare under a calf-length, floral sundress. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. The toe of my sneaker caught the top of the last step, and I stumbled. Heat crept into my cheeks as I caught my balance. Maybe she hadn’t noticed.

“I hear that tripping-over-your-own-feet thing is going around lately.” She smirked playfully, and my embarrassment lessened just a bit. “Come on in.” She stepped back into the house and pushed the door open wider for me to follow her through.

I barely registered the door clicking shut behind me as I took in the opulence inside Katie’s house. A staircase as wide as my living room rose up from the center of the dark wood floor and curled out in two branches before meeting the banistered landing above. And the monster of a crystal chandelier hanging from the sky-high ceiling probably had its own zip code. My entire house could probably have fit inside this entryway. I was suddenly very aware of all the scuffs on my slightly too small, three-year-old sneakers and the frays at the hems of my pant legs. What would Katie say if she knew I lived in an eight-hundred-square-foot house with twenty-year-old furniture—some of which was so worn we kept sheets over it so the stuffing wouldn’t fall out? She’d probably be disgusted. Or worse, pity me.

Either she didn’t notice my awe or she chose not to acknowledge it. “We can study in the rec room.” She flitted past me, grabbing my hand along the way. Her hand was warm in mine, and the touch sent a little thrill through me. I fought the urge to look down at our joined hands, instead letting her lead me through the house.

The rec room turned out to be a small arcade, only with better furniture. The room was massive and filled with everything I’d ever dreamed of owning: a pool table, arcade games, gaming systems, a wet bar. Band and movie posters lined the walls at regular intervals, accentuated by light fixtures and underlined with small bar tables and stools. The room was a party waiting to happen. Did Katie actually hold parties here? I would have, if this was my rec room.

“This is where you study?”

She shook her head. “I don’t usually.”

“Study here?” Where did she study then?

“At all.” And suddenly I wasn’t interested in the games or fantasizing about throwing parties in this theme park of a rec room. Clearly, I was going to have to work very hard for my A in Chemistry if Katie wasn’t the studying type.

 

Chapter Three